Laughter plays an important role in helping couples feel safe and connected with each other. When partners laugh together, their bodies actually shift into a calmer, more open state.
Research shows that laughter can increase bonding hormones like oxytocin while lowering stress hormones such as cortisol. This change in the body helps calm the nervous system and reduce anxiety. And anxiety is often one of the biggest barriers to healthy communication between partners. When anxiety rises, couples are more likely to become defensive, misunderstand each other, or shut down.
Moments of laughter and playfulness can interrupt that cycle. They help partners relax, stay emotionally open, and reconnect.
Because of this, couples often need to be intentional about creating small moments of fun and lightness in their relationship.
One simple way to do this is through the 20 Questions Game developed by relationship researcher John Gottman. I often encourage couples to try this game together, not as another task to complete, but as a light and enjoyable way to create more laughter, connection, and emotional safety in their relationship.
The questions come from John M. Gottman, PH.D , and Nan Silver’s book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and are designed to help couples build what Gottman calls a Love Map—a deeper understanding of each other’s inner world.
Are you ready to try it?